Every weekend during the non-rainy months I get to hear the one person who just cannot help but clap at the talking box known as the television set, or TV. Every 4-7 minutes from morning until evening this energetic simpleton claps approximately 7 times and follows it with a stadium noise leveled “Woo!”.

I must admit, don’t understand. Does this man not know that the people inside his TV cannot hear him? They do not hear the echoing of his incessant clapping or his amplified “Woo!”, but I do. I have begun to reimagine he is clapping and cheering for me while I urinate or learn math. He has become my own personal cheerleader making mundane tasks somewhat celebratory.

I have just slipped my shoes on when,

“CLAP!, CLAP!, CLAP!, CLAP!, CLAP!, CLAP!, CLAP!”, then “WOOO!”

An odd thing to celebrate at my age, but hey, I’ll take it I suppose. Besides, I do like the number 7. It has spiritual meaning (7 day being a holy day or 7 Chakras, to name a few), it is a Prime number, which is neat to me, 7 days in a week and 7 can divide each of the following:

70
21
42
63
14
35
56
07
28
49

Be that as it may, I still believe I am simply justifying the limited capacity for an impulsive man to control random outbursts to draw attention to oneself. Much like a chimpanzee or small child.

Too judgy?

With Love
Ruth Utnage