On Saturday, May 8th two of us are going to have a cake bake off. It is my friend Aryn (another trans woman here with me) and myself. And it’s all going to be done in a microwave, without raw ingredients. Here’s what I have planned:

4 lbs crushed Chocolale Duplex Creme cookies (4 packs)
40 oz of carbonated water (10 oz per 1 lb)
1 pack of no-bake cheesecake filling
1 4-pack of chocolate pudding
about 30 individually wrapped caramels
2 jars of chocolate frosting
1 bag marshmallows
1/2 lb of crushed walnuts
4 king size bars of Cookies n Creme Hershey’s
2 king size regular Hershey’s

This will go for 2 double stacked cakes. I am making 2 different cakes because it sounds wonderful.

Here is the first cake:

Chocolate Caramel Walnut Cake

I am going to make the cakes themselves by crushing 2 pounds of cookies and adding 20 ounces of seltzer water. I then butter a 5.5 cup microwaveable bowl and add half the cookie batter, cook on high for 6 minutes pulling out every 2 minutes to rotate. I will let each one set on ice for about an hour.

Next I am going to melt my caramel and add my crushed walnut pieces. Then, I will add a thin later of caramel walnut to one cakes top and stack the other on top. Then I will frost with chocolate frosting (making it pretty, of course!) and add the remaining caramel walnuts to the top. Voila!

My second cake is: Chocolate Cheesecake Mousse with a Mixed Chocolate Hardshell

I will make my two pounds of cake like normal and cut the center from each.

In a separate bowl I will make my no-bake cheesecake filling and add pudding and about 1/2 cup of melted marshmallows. Then I will whip the crap out of it with a homemade whisk adding drops of milk until it’s at the consistency I desire (thick as hell and moussey).

I will fill the centers of each one about 3/4 of the way and will cut the center piece I removed earlier to a smaller size and place in back into the cake so the mousse will disperse and fill the cake completely.

Then, we stack the cakes top to top, carefully.

Once chilled completely, I will coat the outside in melted Cookies n Creme chocolate and splash some regular Hershey’s on top of that and let harden.

Cut and serve.

Oh yeah, and win the Great Prison Cake Bake-Off where the prize is watching people freak out over my Martha Stewart skills!!!

With Love

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