Do you like ice cream? Yes. Do you like chocolate cake? Yep! Who wouldn’t? Do you like swilling pickle juice and spoonfulls of hot sauce? Plain bread covered in just condiments? Maybe not on the last bunch, but I know someone who does. But the strange cravings are real in a place like prison, where the pallette is starved for a variety of flavors. I recently stumbled on a strange one myself (to me it’s strange, anyway).

Summer sausage cooked in instant beef gravy, poored over a mix of rice and cheese. Now, just writing this feels like I’m disclosing some strange secret, kinda like I’m telling you I’m snacking on Tide Pods or drinking 30 weight motor oil. But the gluttonous flavor of the highly over-processed sausage, with the fats leaking into the beef gravy, and the cheesy base of the rice is just so goddamned delectable!! DELECTABLE!!! Of course, little dishes like this would have never been something I would do as a free person. Everyone knows that summer sausage is reserved for snack trays at gatherings. Everyone knows that gravy has a very specific purpose that doesn’t include being a bath for snack-tray meats. And while rice and cheese kinda makes sense on its own, smothering it in heart-attack fluid probably doesn’t.

While it’s not like eating the ashes of a cremated relative or handfulls of rubberbands (or shooting Tapatio like it’s water at the end of a marathon), it’s the cravings for free world flavors that really drive the want to expand and sample food combinations that I never would have otherwise. And until you had a cheese sauce made in a coffee jar, with love and care, you simply don’t know what you’re missing…

by Rory Andes

Maybe it’s not that weird to eat like this, but it sure isn’t healthy…

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Rory Andes 367649
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272