I was confiding in my brother, James, about my newest trans daughter, Aryn’s insecurities. James always has incredibly deep insights that always make me feel smarter and more loved. He said something that will always be a guidepost for anyone I ever consider marrying for the rest of my life.

He said this about his wife, Renee (my sister), “Renee was always feeling insecure about things like facial hair and her body and that shit is nonsense, she’s such a badass chick. You know what I would do whenever she would tell me an insecurity Ruth? I’d kiss it. Wherever her insecurity was, I’d kiss it because I love every part of her perfect self, every part is kissable.”

Those words exude love, you know. Insecurity kisses. I want someone to kiss my insecurities, I want insecurity kisses.

That’s my advice to my trans daughter as well. Give yourself insecurity kisses and never settle for anyone in your life that won’t do the same.

This is what makes chosen families so powerful in our lives, little moments of profound impact where we understand that we would be incomplete having not heard that such a thing as insecurity kisses exist. How wonderful a brother I have. Who would have thought that one of the most tender expressions of raw, unfiltered, unbridled love would have come from inside a prison?

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)

Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage