I don’t have to go through a list of scenerios I have been through for most LGBT people to feel the sting of those words. Have you ever had someone tell you “Its best for everyone if you don’t come back”? Or “Are you sure you really want to be here, no one wants you here?”. 

Being isolated and ostracized is hard to face in and of itself. But when you have to say “I’m not welcome there” its more like venom dripping from a wound then words leaving your mouth. And for some damn reason I can’t figure out why it hurts every time I have to say it. I suppose I could just not answer or lie…

The most common place I get asked not to go is church. Yeah, go figure. When I do go, if they don’t turn the whole damned service into a gay lynch mob I get glared at by the men in attendance and staff all but sits down next to me, making sure I understand I am being scrutinized. 

It sucks when a Christian person looks past all that and is a real Christian and invites me to church, as if I have never gone, and I have to say the words “I am not welcome there”. 

“You aren’t going to church tomorrow?”
“nah” I reply
“why not,” he asks innocently “fall off?”
“No,” I should lie and tell him I’m busy “um, I am not welcome there.”
He chuckles “What do you mean, its church!”

“I would strongly disagree, more like a prison gang or racist group, hardly Christian” 

It usually goes something like that. 

How about the bathroom usage by our trans sisters? Imagine the haunting looks there, or the gay couple trying to arrange their wedding, not knowing what stores will emberrass them and refuse service. 

I know it hurts, I suppose I am not alone in this. 

Ever feel this? What did you do to cope? How about a little advice?

With Love
Jeff Utnage