I think that if as femme men it shouldn’t be anyone else’s problem or concern if we want to be femme. In fact, I think I’d like to challenge the idea that a man being ‘femme’ is femme at all. 

There are all kinds of gays and a variety of flamboyant and ‘straight acting’ LGBT+ people out there. But it seems that mainstream heterosexual people have begun to accept “straight acting” gays and lesbians so long as they continue to “act” straight. 

Piss on that…

Truth is, I don’t need there damned acceptance. Keep it. I don’t need their hypercritical and homophobia for a good job or a good education or to receive medical treatment or anything. I can get a great job doing exactly what I want to do with their nonjudgmental competitors. Because believe me, they’re there and if not, I guess we’ll have to fix that. 

Were not subservient or submissive to anyone and never have been. We’ve always been used by straight men for sex and then emotional abuse ensues. Only getting their gracious attention publicly so long as we can conform to their idea of a manly man.

Wake up! There are so many of us now. We own Fortune 100 businesses and are among the richest people. Were actors and actresses. Were also illegal immigrants and visa holders, were athletes and bums. Were fighters and everything else. Why is openly comfortable with our sexuality not one of those prides?

Mainstream society isn’t going to just jump in head first with us and believe it or not there are many of our brothers and sisters that can no more “act straight” then a brown queen hiding his/her nationality. 

The travesty here is that even though I feel this way, a big part of me wants to conform to someone else’s idea of gender. Then I sit by myself in this small, small place and even though I changed my hair back to be more masculine and don’t let my wrists hang limp and make a conscious effort to walk more masculine…despite this, I am still not accepted. I am still sitting by myself. 

As femme men and women and of all races and countries we don’t need to change anything to fit anyone else’s bill. Screw them. Honey, does it make you happy when you got dangly earrings in or wear a dress, then rock it! If you feel better with you wrists hanging limp with a high ponytail and some big ole hoop earrings, then wear them. The worst case scenario is that your not accepted. But are you really accepted now? Because they aren’t accepting you anyways, they are tolerating your act. That my dears is intolerable. 

I simple won’t accept that and neither should you. Maturity isn’t conformity. Maturity is finally being comfortable with yourself. 

Be you and don’t you dare apologize for it.

With Love
Jeff Utnage