I know I’m supposed to be all “I love my sisters no matter what” and “they’ve had it super hard”, I get that my empathy is supposed to be pro-trans all the way, pro anything them. But I’m not.

First, many trans girls in this prison system, in fact, I won’t even generalize beyond this particular prison, I will remain hopelessly optimistic about the community beyond this prison, they are immature to a point of self-destruction. Many are young and angry, desperate for attention and would rather burn the village down to feel its warmth then be loved by its villagers. They have this ridiculous notion about what prison is, a violence ridden place with gangs everywhere. Maybe that’s true elsewhere, but we are in a Special Needs Yard, filled with gang drop outs and those likely to be assaulted elsewhere, violence is nearly unheard of here. Yet, these girls perceive this place to be harsh…

I can tell you from PERSONAL experience that I am HAPPY to be at this prison versus other places. Here, I am safe, I get to see my Mother as often as I can, I have friends from all walks of life… I mentor two trans-women, both are doing well and remaining out of the drama. Which is more then I can say for most.

I don’t know if all TGNC communities cause drama that brings awful attention, but I’ve never been more embarrassed by a group of people. Am I out of line here?

With Love
Ruth Utnage

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