It is funny how many times I talk to gay men outside of prison and they have this idea that prison is a homoerotic fantasy land. I hear that and just kind of chuckle.

I get it. Bunch of guys who work out all the time. Shirts off, covered in tattoos. I get where a guy could go with that in a sexual fantasy or two.

But let’s come back to Earth. Prison is a place where people go who have crossed moral boundaries. Not to mention that acting gay in prison is illegal. 

The psychological stress of being gay in prison is very real. The “homoerotic” garbage that people think goes on here take from society being able to empathize with those of us locked up. We do not need empathy for a shoulder to cry on. We do not need pity. What is needed is involvement, the realization that change is possible and very likely if the right conditions are present. This is very difficult to accomplish if people think this place is a haven for queer fantasies to be enacted.

Prison for a gay man is awful. You are asked to stay in the closet. If you are blatantly gay (meaning it is general knowledge) and you get sexually assaulted or physically abused it is generally assumed you asked for it. Following the same line of thought that women who wear leggings are asking to be victimized. 

It is assumed, foolishly, that gay men are uncontrollable sex mongers who see a penis and immediately drop to their knees like some sperm-vampire. When the reality is most gay men are not horny in prison, they are absolutely terrified. For good reason.

Gay men are generally given female names in prison by dominant straight men. It is expected then that the gay man act feminine. Which, usually the gay man will oblige for safety reasons. This is abuse and it has been tolerated for far to long. Forcing a man to act as a woman when he has no desire to so that some fulfillment may come into ones life is wrong. This is exactly what scripture talks about in Romans 1:24-26 when it is mistakenly assumed that homosexuality is condemned. No, no, no.

This is what Paul was talking about. As soon as you have to LIVE that you know exactly what those words really meant because they apply to you. They apply to me and so many of us.

Prison is not a homoerotic fantasy. 

But it can be a true rehabilitation center. With enough support from ANY of you. There are so many of us in here who are fighting for the change in ourselves. There are so many of us in here who are worth your time.

With Love
Jeff Utnage