I was reading The Good Book this morning and was reading the book of Job. I was at the part where after 30+ chapters Job’s friends have been accusing him of hiding sin. Everyone one of his friends were at his place watching him writh in pain. Then God comes along and says “Job I am going to question you, and you will answer”.
While I was reading this and listening to God question Job rhetorically I had my own conversation with Him. He asked me if I feared an evil man. In short, yeah. An evil man has no conscious, he could easily kill you or do damage to you emotionally and physically. Or any other combination of bad things. I had to be honest because after all, God knows the truth anyway. This was His way of reminding me that I don’t live for this world. My existence in the spirit doesn’t begin until my flesh perishes. I may endure pain in my fleshly death but that will be forgotten when I take my first step into eternity. 
There is a freedom in that thought process. To not fear death. For me, death means my eternal life begins. I believe you have an eternal life whether you like it or not. I don’t believe that you die and boom, nothingness. I won’t believe it. 
But that means I have more cofidence to focus on the here and now. I have a job to do. I have been charged with a job, did you know that? I have my own ministry. Its to love. My life has been spent selfishly and immersed in self gratification that was as instant as I could get it. The second I hurt someone I loved I knew it had to change. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I wasn’t thinking about them. Only me. 
This is a ministry I cherish, its a job I love to do because I can do it without fear. I don’t care if someone loves me back. It doesn’t matter. I had someone love me once and I didn’t love them back. But they loved me anyway. They were there with open arms to love me even more when I realized how awful I had been. I am going to be that light for as many people as possible. Its not my light either, its the light of God on me. Feel free to take it, I have plenty.

With Love
Jeff Utnage