I would like to tell you a story. I loaned a guy I wouldn’t normally lend something. I even told him I was uncomfortable doing it. After multiple assurances on his end he would pay it back, I listened to my heart. I knew I wasn’t going to get it back, but I did it anyway, maybe he would surprise me..

Nope! Spoiler alert, he did exactly what I thought he would do. I tried to have a conversation with him to resolve it peaceably where I wanted to tell him it was OK, he didn’t have to pay me back. Instead, he yelled at me and kept throwing me shade. Storming off before I got the chance to tell him it was not a big deal. I just wanted to let him know, no reason to be a tough guy. He never let me finish and still to this day when he sees me he glares at me angrily and balls his fists up. Even when I asked one of his friends to intervene, let him know that all is well. He just got angrier, more resilient. Now, I just smile and let him stare me down, that’s really the only option.

It is more important to me that I have heart. Later in life he is going to think about this, I have faith. He is going to remember that someone was kind to him, because it is clear, no one has been.

We all have goals and some of us have these grandiose “change the world” dreams. I know I do, I’m going to change the world. But I have to constantly remind myself that it is only possible one person at a time. This applies to almost every situation you’ll ever be in. Love first, extend grace first. For me, material possessions I have never had, I’ve never been a rich guy, but truthfully, I could care less about money. Its the things money buys that I sometimes need and even then I have an uncanny ability to go without for a long, long time. I don’t enjoy getting used, but I can accept it when it does happen because I know that my heart will have a bigger payoff.

Whatever your trying to do with your life, don’t forget that heart.

With Love,
Jeff Utnage