Recently I was told I was “tainted meat”. Being called “meat” didn’t feel very nice and neither was the implications of being “tainted”. In fact, it infuriates me and makes me feel judged, unfairly, and brings me back to childhood when even “good Christians” would tell you to date within your own race.

I was told this because I refuse to only admit an attraction to white men and women. I have attractions to people from all races, all continents that produce people have people that are attractive to me. What really burns me is the fact that I went to write about this very topic before and what crossed my mind is that I will be judged even harsher and more openly because I am saying that I am willing, and have already, dated men and women who aren’t..GASP!, white. But why is this a source of contention for anyone else?

Racism is still alive in its antiquated form as well as its new form, what some have called “neo-racism”. It’s evident in the world I live in, especially when I say “he’s cute” referring to a black man and someone says “figures, a white girl is attracted to a black man.”

As if it is a problem…or wrong… or any of their business…as if I should be filtering my brain to weed out things the people around me don’t approve of.

The bigger issue here isn’t the people around me making judgments about my attractions its that white men around white women still feel comfortable enough to say things like “tainted meat” in judgment of what they feel they are entitled to. It’s okay for some white woman they don’t know to date a black man or whoever else, but not their white women, as if that’s really a thing.

And I apply this to all races, BTW. It’s not just whites who are guilty of “protecting their race” under the auspices of heritage protection and race pride. These beliefs are rooted in fear and misguided notions of superiority and entitlement. I can’t tell you how many women I know who won’t seriously date a man of another race because they fear the judgment and disappointment of their inner and outer circles and, more specifically and to the heart of the matter, their mother and/or father. What women wants to see her fathers face turn to shame?

This floats into territory of language, nationality (we are such and such (i.e. Greeks, Latinos, Polish, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, etc) marry a such and such and make your family proud, as if anything else will bring disappointment or shame). I know this is hard for people to contemplate especially when it hits notes so close to home. We are naturally good people and sometimes we have to face hard truths about ourselves and what we have had forced on us from our parents’ parents’ parents’ parents’ time.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)

Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage