Nothing makes me happier than when I am with those that I love. My guards come down, I smile freely, I am only concerned with the moment. But there is another side to me.

I have become the sole caretaker of my future (except, of course, God) and I have a real interest in my success and happiness. Its not that I am being cutthroat, because I am not, I am being very aggressive with what I want. No one has handed me anything. I have had to demand it, every step of the way. 

I feel good about this new desire to take control of my life and it feels right. However, it makes me highly competitive, a side of me I have not allowed to surface since junior high football. In high school, such drive was replaced by weed and weight lifting, nice mellow paces. I fear that my need to accomplish my goals may end up crossing a few paths I had not intended. What to do?

Well, this is what I have decided: When I have accomplished my goal, I am going to put my hand out and help up whoever is traversing the same path and help them get to where I went. I am not going to leave them behind to “figure” it out. I am going to help in any way I can. 

My honor is not for sale. Though I have made the mistake of selling it many times, I will not sell it anymore. 

With Love
Jeff Utnage