Writing Out Of Anger: I’m Flat Out Offended

I have been fighting for LGBT rights in this prison for a few years now. The opposition that I have been facing is ridiculous. I have been involved in programs that teach me to be a mentor and a better public speaker and how to teach. I have been taking notes, believe that. 
I found voice through these programs and just being plain infuriated by this system. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have love for the programs that I am involved with, or the people that I am next to. I have immense respect for the people that I am currently dealing with and the programs that they represent that have helped me personally. Now, let me say this:
I am completely offended by this place. I have been fighting and writing and begging and pitching speech after speech after speech. I engage anyone who will listen and I just won’t stop. Not even now I won’t stop. Let me tell you why I am so pissed off. It’s common knowledge that I am the one who is fighting for LGBT rights here on this compound. If anyone is even suspected of being gay, the whole damn prison tells me. They can’t do nothin’ without someone coming to me and airing their laundry. It’s just the way things go I guess. So when the administration begins making steps to fix the inequality (which I am ecstatic for, bravo!) I find it flat out offensive that the same ones who have been ignoring me this whole time are the ones who are making choices about what these new things mean. Like June, June is now LGBTQ month. It is now a cultural event for this place, great. Also, my proposal to create a peer support group has been approved. So there is this great big meeting, so big that it has to be held in our visitation room. We had one last week and everyone brought my name up and the lady who organized it was like”oops, my bad, it was a clerical error that Jeff wasn’t added” everyone was a little offended by it. Including me. So then she said that this week, she would hold another one so that those who were mistakenly forgotten, like me, will be included this go around. So imagine my f*****g surprise when guess who’s NOT on the call out? Jeff Utnage.
Mistakes like this don’t happen twice. Its obvious at this point that the people responsible for this are against me. They are doing their best to sabotage my involvement.

Well, guess what…I still ain’t going to quit. I STILL am not going to quit! I hope to God that the message gets out to these people that I am not just fighting for a support system. This has become a highly personal attack by those who are in opposition of equality. I will respond by not quitting. I am still going to help those around me, I am still going to send weekly kites to administration. I still am going to continue to engage as many staff members as possible. I still am going to blog here and shine light on what is happening in the prisons of the most liberal state in the country. So much for forward thinking. Washington state as a whole may be forward thinking, but Aberdeen, WA and some of the staff of SCCC are obviously still holding on to racism and segregation and homophobia. Otherwise, people like me wouldn’t be forgotten…continually.

With Love
Jeff Utnage 823469